I woke up from a dream in which Forst was taunting me with having nothing between my ears, which was silly, as I have a face and hair and everything. After my daily moment of existential angst, I cheered up and resolved to look for clues at the guild's secret downtown location, known to only a few cognoscenti and me, and I got lucky straight away. There under the floorboards, where I knew Forst usually kept the teddy bear he didn't think we knew about, was a tattered map. Could this be the guildnappers' first mistake?
No, as it turned out. It seemed to be a map of Azeroth... And yet, there was something ever so slightly different. For a start the Chinese takeaway wasn't there, but an Italian restaurant was. Down in the Drag, the portal was in a slightly different place, and the beautician's was nowhere to be found. Something was badly wrong. Not only that but Forst's teddy bear wasn't in its hiding place, and though I was glad to know he had it with him, I wondered what sort of guildnappers would wait while the GM retrieved his teddy bear.

I took stock. I was still a hunter, and that was still lucky, but I switched to my tier 12 pvp gear and selected Survival spec. I looked sternly at Boggle, Lollop, and Insanity, and tried again to resist the urge to step on Wiggles.

"This is no job for you guys,” I told them.

Boggle looked at me reproachfully, and said "ookeek'eee-eek," which I knew meant, "but you said I was the only one in your life. How can you throw away all the good times we've had together?"

That stung, but my mind was made up. "You can't charge the enemy without shouting about it," I explained. “And anyway you're the youngest of the team. The others aren't complaining.”

Insanity reared his ugly head and squawked at me. "Because you're bright pink, that's why. People stare," I snapped. Lollop sat and scratched himself thoughtfully, but Wiggles crawled up into a corner of the room and glared. The message was clear. “Take me with you or your room will be full of cobwebs and little spiders when you get back.”

"Lollop has the right attitude," I told them, but then I noticed he was holding a barbie doll, that, like all barbie dolls, looked suspiciously like me. While I watched, he snapped off an arm, glanced at me to be certain he had my full attention, then pulled off the head and sat on it. I shuddered at the thought of having a massive gorilla sitting on me and got the point.

"I'm going into certain peril,” I told them, “plus, Forst will be there eventually and he may shout if my dps drops." Four expressions said clearly that they did not fear the Forst as I did.

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