Things Get Worse
Evida's Diary: Day Five

I had another dream: it was totally weird. I dreamed I was in the guild barracks, asleep, and around me my guild mates were cleaning their weapons, darning their chain mail and, for some reason, painting one another's toe nails, with something that looked suspiciously like my very expensive nail varnish.
"I'm surprised Evida isn't here yet”, said Nightbelf, my go-to guy for whether I should turn right or left.
“So am I,” said Lolzator. “It's very quiet without her. Peaceful.”
“Maybe she got lost,” said Nightbelf. “She does get lost a lot.”
“Did she say she was coming?” asked Sooze.
“Um,” said Forst.
“You did tell her about the realm change?” Sooze demanded.
“Um,” said Forst again. “Yes, yes of course. Absolutely. I must have done.”
“You don't sound too sure,” said Skarrz.
“Um,” said Forst. “I thought you were telling her Sooze. On the plus side it is quiet.”
“Too quiet,” said Sooze. “I can hear people snoring during raids now. You didn't tell her did you?”
“Um.”
“I know you didn't.”
“Um not as such, no. I thought someone else would tell her.”
Lolzator looked up then, “so you're saying that evida doesn't know about the realm change?” He thought for a moment. “Can I have her room?”
“Maybe, if she's still not here next week,” said Sooze. “Blizz writes letters to all guildlings, telling them about the switch.”
I woke in a cold sweat, until I remembered that I didn't actually have a room in the guild barracks. The morning air was chill with the onset of winter, so I quickly summoned the pets, and it was nice, them lying around me on my bed, snuggling up to me. Except for Wiggles of course. He didn't really know how to snuggle, so instead he was attempting to weave us all into a cocoon, but I knew the bed was far too big for him to do that and there were five of us. His misplaced confidence was touching.


When we had at last hacked, bitten, torn and squawked insanely our way out of the web some hours later, I was very cross indeed.
“Ok, I've had it with everything. There is nothing, nothing that could be worse than what has already happened! Wiggles you are on probation, no more cocoons!” He rattled his mandibles at me but I was too angry to care. “I will squish you like a bug,” I told him. Chastened, he climbed up onto the ceiling and sat there glowering.
As I walked out into the Orgrimmar sunshine, hearing the familiar sounds of the city (people shouting, “Noob!” and “Me not that kind of Orc”) I wondered whether I should find a new guild, one that appreciated me for my strengths and would forgive my major faults. It would take months for strangers to find out I'm an idiot.
But no, I had a duty. If the guild was languishing somewhere with really stupid kidnappers who didn't have enough brain power to send a ransom note or leave decent clues, like their email address or something, then it was down to me. I imagined my guild members saying..... and then I thought. What I could actually imagine them saying was not, “don't worry, Evida will save us,” but “there's only Evida left to rescue us. We are so screwed.
I paused on my way to the Orgrimmar fast food joint known as McMankriks to chat to my old friend Urtharo on whom I had dumped many, many very useless items over the years.
“Heya,” I said. “What's new?”
“I hear you're going out with Gamon,” he said. “Tell me, is it true what they say about Tauren males?”


 

“What?” I spluttered.
“He told me himself. He said you clicked over a flagon of ale the other night.”
“We so did not. Did he mentioned the bit where I killed him?”
“Everyone kills him,” shrugged Urtharo. “It's not like he stays dead. Ever.” I was so going to kill Gamon. Properly. And finally. Very finally.
“I can't believe you believed him.”
“I can't believe you can't believe I believed him,” said Urtharo.

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